"It's Just Exhausting Sometimes": Emotional Ambivalence and Digital Intimacy Among Gen Z: a study of how dating app users construct and redefine connection

In the past decade, dating apps have significantly transformed how young adults initiate and negotiate romantic and sexual relationships. While existing academic research has examined technological affordances and social dynamics of dating apps, few studies have centered the perspectives of Gen Z dating app users in a European context. Therefore this thesis addresses that gap by exploring how Gen Z dating app users in the Netherlands experience and interpret digital intimacy in this platformized world. The central research question guiding this study is: how do Gen Z dating app users in the Netherlands perceive the role of dating apps in shaping digital intimacy? Led by a theoretical framework that combines Bauman's (2003) theory of liquid love, Gidden's (1992) theory of confluent love, Gibson's affordance theory and De Ridder's (2021) datafication of intimacy amongst other academic findings. The research investigates how intimacy is mediated by both technological design and evolving cultural norms. Additionally, the study integrates recent literature on gendered affordances and digital affective practices (Comunello et al., 2021). Methodologically, the research adopted a qualitative approach that used as a data collection method, semi-structured interviews. The sample consisted of ten participants ranging from 18 to 25 years old living in the Netherlands that actively use dating apps. The data analysis method applied was thematic analysis to identify recurring patterns and contradictions. Four key themes emerged from the collected data such as (1) ambivalence and affective contradictions; (2) digital affordances and the performance of self; (3) barriers to digital intimacy and (4) the emergence of fluid intentions and redefining connection. The findings revealed that Gen Z users critically navigate dating apps, by balancing a desire for genuine connection with a clear awareness of the superficial interactions and gendered pressures that come with using the platforms. Despite this, participants have expressed agency by not sticking to the normative expectations of finding sexual partners. Resulting in alternative outcomes such as friendships, queer kinship and identity exploration. Overall this thesis contributed to academic debates on digital intimacy by centering Gen Z perspectives and revealing how digital platform cultures are reshaping emotional relationships. Beyond its academic contribution, this research offers broader societal relevance. By shedding light on how dating apps shape emotional wellbeing, digital intimacy and gendered interaction among young adults.